Monday, July 13, 2015

The Girl Who Cried Workout

It's been awhile since I last put my thoughts down on a keyboard, and a lot has changed since I did. I got another job in PR, was fired from said job in PR, only to start my own PR company which is about to celebrate its one-year anniversary. I somehow became the American dream, and currently have my LLC and operate my own company. How 'bout them apples?

Professional successes aside (I mean, without sounding completely full of myself, I can ramble on about that for days...), I found that I'm still struggling in multiple personal arenas. I think the top one would be my commitment to fitness and a healthy lifestyle. Not that I haven't been still working out and eating as best I can, but there's way more binge eating and drinking days than days spent Paleo feasting. As a result of these bad habits, plus a sloth energy level at times, multiple hangovers and just sheer laziness, I am back to if not bigger than my old, fattest self. A self I vowed to never, ever be again...

Clothes that once fit me at my "normal" size don't fit over my hips, zippers fail and heaven forbid I even try to put some pants on. There's no hyperbole in the weight gain and size difference unfortunately. As an Allen, most of my fat goes directly to my thighs and ass. Not a bad place when you're a size 8, but as a 14 it's not a pretty picture.

Well enough with the body shaming because that's not going to do any good. The point behind resurrecting the blog years after it was last abandoned is that today, July 13, is two months away from my 30th birthday. Though I can say I've made some serious strides in my quest toward maturity and adulthood, I think being single and overweight and unhappy with my appearance have a dark loom over my happy self. And they will haunt my birthday if I don't do something to stop it.

So I'm committing to myself that when the clock strikes midnight onto my 30th birthday, I will proud of what I look like, wearing some bad ass, hot ass outfit and looking toward my 30s as "my time."

Obviously this won't be an overnight success and I don't have the money for lipo. So it calls for some good old fashioned hard work. (Queue Iggy Azalea's "Work" on the Spotify)

This work will include focusing on the following, as my goals:
- First complete 30 days of paleo
- Second complete the final 30 days of paleo
(Why two sets of 30 days? Well, 60 days is terrifying and hella daunting, but breaking into nice little chippers is just easier to swallow)
- Crossfit three times a week with a strength cycle included because Lord knows my skills are way gone
- Barre three times a week to tone and build
- Running at least five times a week. That'll be the biggest thing after clean eating to keep me on track.

That's a lot of shit. That's a lot of hard shit. One of those things is a commitment in itself to being healthier. Why all of them? Well, I kinda have to. Dipping my toe in the water and half-assing one thing really wasn't getting me anywhere. We all know diet is the key to all successes. So I have to start there, and STAY there. As a restaurant publicist, this is going to be near impossible. I'll have to be on the offensive all the time, packing healthy Paleo-friendly snacks, resisting the cheese dip and mac and cheese and fries, and going instead for the meaty options (Thank God most of my clients are burger concepts anyway so that'll be okay...)

A long time ago I saw a commercial for I think a yogurt company. It had a split view of the girl on the left chose a yogurt for breakfast, and it carried through the day of healthy choices. She got a salad for lunch, opted for water instead of soda, healthy snack and then went to the gym. Same girl on the right failed to eat breakfast, then ate a donut at the office, followed by fast food for lunch, grabbed a soda from the vending machine and sofa-time at night. The old cliches is true - make a smart decision first thing, and you'll want to continue for the rest of the day. Why bother binge eating and counteracting all the good you did?

So it'll all start with the morning run, followed by the Paleo breakfast. Then the snacks-on-the-ready, pre-made lunches and a continued valiant effort at staying clean.

Oh and the whole not drinking thing is going to suck the worst. I love me some booze. Night time wine, ice cold beer at the bar, margaritas... I mean, without sounding like a 12-step reject, I do love drinking like any Irish-American. So I'll just need to avoid temptation. Which is fine - I need to cut down on social time anyway so I can focus on being at the gym, eating healthy, resisting the impulse to chug all booze in sight like Karen Walker.

I have an amazing support system to help me with this as well. Kaitlyn at my Crossfit gym is like the Mary Poppins and Richard Simmons of positive reinforcement and support. Her phone will be blowing up from texts by me to compliment my own progress and resistance - more than any psycho ex has ever blown up her phone. Then Miller texts me in the mornings to wake my ass up and make sure I'm up for my run. I admittedly hit that snooze button... a lot... so now I'll need to hide my phone in the bathroom so I at least have to get up and walk 10 feet to turn the alarm off. Here's hoping that helps. The key is to just fight through three weeks - 21 days to make a habit, right?

So I'm off... on a crazy ass goal to change in 60 days. I've done it before, and it was awesome. I know I can do it again. I just need to be a fucking adult and take care of myself and just do it.

I'm doing it for Future Tori.

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